temper

My mother commented that I'm "hot-headed", that I have "a temper", and that I'm impatient. This is odd because I'm one of the calmest people I know and I'm pretty laid back - my wife agrees with me. But we both see what my mother means - I have a temper with her and I often choose to bite my tongue over yelling at her. My mother pushes my buttons whether she knows she's doing it or not. It surprises me sometimes how very different my brothers and I turned out relative to my parents - not necessarily in a bad way but in very different directions. In my mind my mother still treats me like a kid, and all commentary about how I'll always be my mother's child, aside, I know precisely where I lost confidence in my parents. I know I can't blame them for not knowing how to handle the situation - it's not something most parents have to deal with, but the entire situation was a significant factor in making me the person that I am and if they were more up front with me then, I think things may have worked out differently. As it happened I shut myself off from everyone and turned inwards - I didn't have anyone else to turn to. It took me a long while before I turned outwards again and when I did get my confidence I think it was surprising how easy it was for me to be outgoing and social. Neither of my brothers are lacking in social graces, but for a long time I thought I was but I'm finding out more and more that I can handle myself in social situations. Maybe I resent my parents for holding me back. Maybe.

 

My wife has commented on how far removed my parents seem from her parents. She compares their view on the world as more akin to her grandparents and I have to agree with her. In any decision we make I have to either explain to them in painstaking detail why we did whatever it is we did, or else just bite my tongue and say "That's what we decided. End of story." Frustrating.

 

That said, its nice to not have to cook as often and to have someone watch the kids and do the dishes while we try to get the things done that we need to.