Spousal Add-on's

MC: Doing anything to celebrate tonight?

Me: we're going to dinner at a Japanese restaurant

and then going to see X-Men 3

MC: Very good

You have my approval.

Me: :-) thanks

MC: And be sure to let them know at the restaurant that it's your birthday; if you're lucky, the entire staff may gather around your table to sing you something in Japanese and then present you with a frosting-coated sushi roll with a candle stuck in it.

If you're even luckier, they won't.

Me: well at the Japanese restaurant that we used to go to in buffalo they would give you a fake robe and a fake headdress and take your picture

MC: A fake robe like the emperor's new clothes? That could be ... interesting.

Me: well just enough of a robe so it looked like you were wearing one in the picture

MC: Oh.

I suppose they could force you into a karaoke performance.

Me: I've never been to this particular restaurant so that could be a possibility

MC: There's got to be something humiliating! That's what makes birthday parties fun if you don't have games.

Me: well it'll just be me and my wife

MC: She might enjoy seeing that.

Me: I'm sure she would

MC: Then be sure to mention the idea.

No need to say it was from me, though, you can take the credit.

Me: I think she will probably figure it out on her own

although she probably won't be willing to step out on a limb to actually tell anyone

MC: That's the basic flaw in this celebration: you're missing a loud, raucous individual.

Me: minor difficulty

and a point i fail to see the drawback in

MC: It's one of those things where you don't see all the advantages until you've actually obtained and installed one.

Me: that would require a major overhaul of the Wife system I have in place right now and frankly I'm quite satisfied with its current features

I don't think I'm ready for a change that dramatic

MC: Oh no, not at all. This would merely be a buddy unit for special celebrations -- for those times when she would like to see you singing show tunes on a public stage, but just can't bring herself to say the magic words.

Me: an add-on, if you will?

MC: Sure, something along those lines.

Me: heh, well we live in Erie, so that's not going to happen any time soon

unless someone moves here

or we move out

MC: Never say never. Keep searching! While you're having dinner, look for unusually loud people at the surrounding tables, or someone in the rows behind you in the theater who annoyingly speaks every line of the film at the same time the characters on-screen do. Those are the people you're looking for.

Me: this coming from the guy who we have trouble hearing over the softness of his voice :-)

MC: Exactly! I have an expert knowledge of the field and understnad the need.

Me: the need, but not the application

You're talking ivory tower speech

all theory no action!!!!

We need deeds not words!

Except in this case - we'll skip my b-day for any actual implementation

MC: I don't have the same need that you do, though: loud addition to embarrass you in public. Me, I embarrass myself quite adequately. No, what I need is a nimble-footed acrobat to catch things I knock over.

So keep your eyes open for any talented waiters tonight. Shove your sake cup off the table or something.