On Sandwiches

N: Sir, do you make/eat sandwiches?
Me: I do indeed.
Why, I had one for lunch this very noon
and another yesterday as well
and one before that
N: Marvelous!
Me: in fact I have a sandwich almost every work day
N: You surely know a great deal about sandwiches!
Me: well I know a great deal about the sandwiches I eat at any rate
N: If you are making a sandwich with only one condiment, how/where is that condiment applied?
Me: usually on the bread
N: *nod*
Me: more often than not on the inside of the sandwich
as I find if I put it on the outside it tends to soil my hands
N: Assuming you are making a sandwich with 2 slices of bread, how many slices of bread get condiment applied to them?
Me: usually both
if its 1 condiment then both get the same
if its 2 condiments then it depends on the sandwich
the sandwich more colloquially referred to as a "Hamburger"
(or "burger" for short)
if I choose 2 condiments, I would apply them together
Me: for example ketchup (or catsup, if you will), and mustard (of varying varieties, but my preference is the horseradish variety)
N: on only one side of the bread?
Me: for the burger, yes
but for example on a ham sandwich, I will put mayo on one side and mustard on the other
because mustard on both sides is often too much and without the mayo its too dry
I would also point out that the kind of bread I'm using influences this choice as well
N: *grin*
I may be a "one side only" person because I only make sandwiches with really good bread.
Me *shrug*
what brought this up?
N: K and I are debating the proper placement of condiments on the ideal sandwich.
Or on the default sandwich.
Me: ahh
N: He was displeased at lunch because the sandwich person put mustard on only on side.
Me: what are your definitions of "ideal" and "default"?
N: When you go to a deli and order a sandwich, what seems like the "right" thing for the counter person to do?
Me: well it depends
are you ordering a "signature" sandwich or making something up?
if its a signature sandwich then you have no right to complain
if you are ordering then they should ask
but places like Subway and Quiznos have strict guidelines for sandwich building for which you have to specifically request deviations from
you probably have more flexibility from non-chain delis
N: Just a deli, say you want my standard: roast beef and swiss.
Not a specialty thing.
Me: I don't - unless it toasted
otherwise, meh
if its toasted than I probably won't have any condiments
if it isn't I probably wouldn't order it
N: Well, generic sandwich. Turkey, ham, roast beef...
Just plain cheese.
Me: I tend to put the condiments on myself
if given the choice
N: *giggle*
Mayo on your HEAD!
Me: I'm being difficult, aren't I? :-)
N: I'm amused by "I put the condiments on myself."
Me: :-) well K's problem is one that's easily fixed
if they put the mustard on one side and he wants it on both all he has to do is add some to the other
its better than the alternative i.e. if he wanted it on one side and they put it on both
that's a lot harder to fix
N: true