IM Conversation

Me: I had a couple of new insights pointed out to me by that book i'm currently reading
N: oh?
Me: I've told 5 people that I've created a blog; all of them are women; one of them is my wife; no men
N: and..?
Me: and with all of them I've had some discussion of what I'm going through
Me: it struck me as odd
N: *nod*
N: the lack of men?
Me: the emphasis on women
Me: I wonder if there is a subconsous ulterior motive
Me: probably is
Me: makes me question myself
Me: can I move beyond my baser instincts?
N: we all have ulterior motives
Me: or should I use this as an opportunity to better myself
Me: what are yours?
N: *grin* is our friendship merely a function of your baser instincts, sir?
Me: hah
Me: well
Me: no
Me: because if there wasn't more to you than "the curve of your hips" we wouldn't still be conversing
Me: but that said
N: *nod*
Me: maybe my baser insticts wants a woman with more than curvy hips
Me: all of the women who know about this blog are smart and attractive
N: heh
Me: right
N: I'm not going to go into the whole "I can't find non-smart people attractive" discussionw ith youagain ;-)
Me: right right
Me: but you get my point
Me: is this all just a sham?
N: what? your trying to get a better understanding of yourself?
Me: am I?
N: are you? that's the question, yes?
Me: Is it just a ploy to get closer to the people I've been talking to this about?
Me: if it is, does it matter?
N: it's not wrong to want to be close topeople.
Me: that's true
Me: I mean if I do understand myself better and everyone who reads the blog understands me better and isn't repelled by what they find, then I guess it's worth it
N: and you're in erie...which seems to make you feel a little lonely...
Me: lol yeah
N: so it's natural to want to connect to more people
Me: that's true
N: maybe it's just easier for you to talk to women -- i don't know
Me: i think it is
N: some of my male friends find that to be the case
Me: my wife finds it easier to talk to men
N: it doesn't mean you are doing it because you want to sleep with them
Me: that's true as well
N: just that you're going through some stuff and those are the people that are easiest to talk to.
Me: *nod* some stuff being "I"M LONELY!!!"
N: yes
Me: i guess that makes sense
N: and you want pretty ladies to tell you how much they like you
Me: lol
N: it's not that evil of a thing :-)
Me: yeah :-) stroke the ego!!!
N: yeah I do it too ;-)
Me: "It occurs to me that the secret of feeling vibrant may lie in having an audience that you can tease and flirt with and lead along the way of slowly falling in love with you"
N: What is that a quote from?
Me: Bahauddin. i just put it in my blog. which is what got this whole conversation started
Me: you should read the one i posted after that as well
N: ah,I see it
Me: I thought it a funny coincidence that the same phrase I used to describe you showed up in the book as well
N: *grin* we wimmens are all the same
Me: succubi :-)
N: yes, yes *pats head*
Me: :-) so there you have it
N: indeed
N: I think you are reaching out more to women at least in part because you miss your wife.
Me: that's true
N: it's ok :-)
Me: but I don't know if I show her my appreciation as much when she is around
N: I don't mind being a substitute flirting partner :-)
Me: or I don't know if I communicate it well
N: well, darn it, do that!
Me: well if anything I think I've learned that
N: good:-)
Me: One other thought that occurs to me is that I seem to not be the only one who has every looked to members of the opposite sex for inspiration
Me: lol big surprise
N: er... yeah... that's very unusual... *grin*
Me: except, as with most insights, stating the obvious sometimes gives it more meaning
Me: acknowledging its presence, etc
Me: allows you to come to terms with it
Me: wow I think I'm having a breakthrough tonight
Me: this is great thanks
N: *hug* excellent!
Me: :-)