restlessness

When can one stop? I thought I came to a conclusion about life a long time ago and ever since then life's been great. To borrow a methapor from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, I didn't so much as peak as I plateaued or at least found a very stable ledge. I think I realized that the peak was higher up from where I was but the ledge I got to was big enough to spend a lot of time at. For some reason the itch to explore it is coming back and all the more stronger for having started this stupid blog. Being alone without the wife and kids has only heightened this feeling. Life feels empty without them around. They filled my day in a way that when I'm alone I can't match. When they are around I usually go to sleep around 1am-ish - when they're not home I doze off by 11:30 to midnight. They stimulate me and occupy my thoughts and keep me awake. Idle hands maybe? Without them to take care of my mind needs to find something else to occupy itself. Wow. My wife never gets a break like this. She called me a few hours ago and you can hear the strain in her voice. One nice thing about her going away like this is she appreciates my contribution much more when there's no one at her family's place that can or will help her with the kids. :-)