I have no idea what to title this...

"A body does not work when significant bits are not sharing the same space-time frame as the rest of it, but it does look colorful. The trade-off is not to its advantage." - Terry Pratchett in Going Postal.

Raising kids

http://www.thecanadiangeek.ca/archives/in-defense-of-the-pedophile/

What a great article. My wife and I have had discussions, not specifically about sex, but about telling our kids the truth, about not tiptoing around a subject. There's a difference between a belief in Santa Claus and a belief in why the world is the way it is. One does not preclude the other.

BBC NEWS | Americas | Canada pilot in toilet trip drama

BBC NEWS Americas Canada pilot in toilet trip drama

:-)

BBC NEWS | In Pictures | Day in pictures

BBC NEWS In Pictures Day in pictures

That first picture is priceless!!!
(the second one is kinda depressing)

Music

The soundtracks for the three Lord of the Rings movies are just wonderful. This isn't a new observation, it's just that I've been listening to them again after several months of listening to J-Pop and electronica and drum & bass rythms and the difference is, well, obvious. Confession: I felt an incredible feeling of sadness and loss when the music hit the Bridge of Khaz'adum scene where Gandalf is lost to the abyss and the following scene where the Fellowship mourns his loss.

Friends and Work

Me: I was at the firm golf outing last night and after everyone was done playing we hung out at the eating area and ate and drank and played drinking games. Of course, I participated but I felt out of place - not because I didn't fit in or was unwelcome, quite the contrary the people I work with are very welcoming and friendly and I do get along with all of them, but one of the things I noticed was that most, if not quite all, of the people there were not people I would choose to make friends with. It's not that I don't like them or don't enjoy their company but it's not the same quality of companionship that I tend to look for in my friends.
I understand the need to have time to not think about weighty things and to have time to not think at all but I spent a long time cultivating the friends that I do have that I never see anymore and I miss them.
I know I have a good future here and i know I'll make friends and meet people who are more along the lines of what I'm used to but I miss my friends
M: the thing is, times of life get you different kinds of friends - high school, then college, then grad school - these are people who know you when you're still figuring out exactly who you are, and in some ways shape you
Me: Yes but none of those people are here.
I was looking around the room - there were maybe about 30 people there after most of the others had left and every one of them, even the woman who just started three weeks ago had contacts and connections and friendships with each other and the community that I just don't have.
I mean I have them, just not here.
It's not for lack of fitting in - you know me - I can fit in anywhere if I have to but its not quite... Me... You know?
M: I do know
I just think it takes a lot longer than you ever think it should
Me: heh
M: and friends post-schooling are just always going to be a little different
Me: sure and I accept that
but i suppose the difference is that these are lawyers and only a few of them have science or engineering backgrounds
I know you don't have one, but you're different
and
M: *grin*
Me: lawyers are a very different breed of people
M: do you feel closer, or more kinship with, the ones who do have science or engineering in their past?
Me: lawyers who've never worked in any other field post undergrad and pre-law school are given this unrealistic view of what its like to be employed full time
M: um, yeah
Me: As a lawyer I have an incredible amount of freedom and flexiblity and entitlement that I never had as an engineer
and it makes me look at work very differently as compared to people who've never had a full time job other than lawyering
in fact many people have commented to me on that
and the ones who have worked in other fields are the ones I'm more inclined to hang out with
unfortunately those are few and far between in this profession
M: so many of them are born and bred to it, it's true
Me: the science and engineering people tend to be more....
down to earth
than the poli-sci people
i don't know
again, i'm not putting liberal arts people down because there are exceptions to every rule :-)
M: liberal arts & law are SO not the same thing though! poli-sci is just their code word in their fledgling stage...
Me: i meant lawyers who were poli-sci majors as oposed to lawyers who have degrees in the hard sciences
lemme rephrase my earlier statement
the lawyers with science and enginneering degrees tend to be more down to earth thatn the lawyers with liberal arts degrees
M: oh ok
*smooths ruffled feathers with an air of great chagrin*
Me: it seems to me there lawyers with liberal arts degrees tend to have always wanted to be lawyers or have "fallen" into law because there wasn't anything better to do but lawyers with science degrees went to school to study science and tend to have made the decision to go to law school with a more measured analysis
does that make sense?
M: yep
Me: I didn't mean to pick on liberal arts majors I was shortcutting by leaving out the "lawyers who were" part
I apologize
I think the "lawyers who were" part makes all the difference
sorry about that
also rephrasing another ealier comment:
many people have commented that my outlook on work is very different than most new associates that they have seen
that I give off the impression that I'm not intimiated by my supervisors and that I'm not out to prove anything
and that I give an air of competence and ability that most new hires that have never had a full time job don't quite pull off
and I think that puts another kind of barrier up - I think it may go to my head sometimes
M: huh. is it b/c people who grow up wanting to be lawyers also grow up with this almost instinctual respect for the hierarchy, with the concomitant awe/fear of those at the top?
Me: lol
wow
I think people who want to be lawyers want to be a part of the system
its like people who want to work on Wall Street
they have a certain attitube about life that can be distateful to people who aren't in those professions
all the steroetypes about lawyers and financiers generally do apply to the kinds of people who really want to work in those fields
M: i know, it's weird
Me: I say I'm an engineer first because the connotations with being an engineer are, to me, much more prefferable than the connotations of being a lawyer
I wholeheartedly embrase the engineering sterotype of being a bookish nerd
I am a Geek and damn proud of it
but a money grubbing heartless shark of a lawyer I am not
there is an undercurrent of money and power when the partners get together no matter how nice they are (and most of them are genuinely nice people), when money and power come in to play I'm certain all bets are off
and while I can be friends with them, and I do consider many, if not most of them my firends, its not the same type of friendship that I have with people who I don't have a financial and job related relationship with
M: you don't think that would be the same no matter what large company you were working for, at least for the most part?
Me: its a different dynamic
as an engineer I had the possibility of becoming partner and becoming a co-owner of the firm after maybe 30 or 35 years of work
here the partner track is about 8 to 10 years
and once you become a partner the financial benefits increase dramatically but so does the self-interest
I was having a conversation with another engineer type attoney who does Environmental law last night after everyone else had left - we were the last two people standing in the parking lot after the staff had left too and he was telling me about his take on office politics
the fact of the matter is that once you become a partner and see the kind of money you can make at the expense of associates you quickly become assimilated into the culture as it stands and any thoughts of changing that structure tend to vanish
there's almost a generational thing in it too
M: hmmmm
Me: some of the older attorneys, my superivsor among them, are keen to make sure the new associates are trained and cultivated to ensure the firm has a future after they are gone, but it seems like the middle aged attorneys don't seem to have that long term vision and only care about the bottom line
that said
this firm is a heck of a lot better than most others I know about
M: is everyone, really everyone, that concerned with making the most money possible, no matter what? so sad
Me: politics aside, I can at least have frank discussions with the partners and can be pretty certain that I'm not being taken for a ride on an individual basus
but once you get a group of people to gether all bets are off
a group bears almost no resemblence to the individual parts
because if each individual had any reservations about anything, they can always claim that the decision was not their's but the group's
that's a reality I have to live with
any wonder I'm not completely entralled with making close friends with the people I work with? I do want to be friends with them but I know there will always be this barrier where I have to tred carefully and I don't want to have to worry about where I step with my friends
M: group dynamics are rather terrifing
on the other hand, if you have a real connection with someone, you'll be real friends, and you won't have to worry where you step
the problem is real friends are few and far between (usually)
like, REAL friends - y'know?
Me: right
and you will have many mis-steps with many people before you find those people
M: oh yes
Me: do I want to risk it with these people or should I play it safe?
I'm not sure I want to deal with that question
and all the more reason to miss the friends I do have now
M: how long now have you been there?
Me: just over a year
I don't have any worries about losing my job
I know the firm needs me more than I need them
I can make much more money at a large city and at most large cities I have many more old friends and family around
I am a part of the firm and I am accepted as such
and I'm pretty sure that most people here see me as a friendly guy and I am, I'm just not close friends with any of them yet
M: it's hard - & rare, i think - to feel that way at any job
Me: its funny when I was an engineer I was the social guy - I brought the firm together
apparently when I left people stopped hanging out as much
and things got quiter
I'm still in touch with several people there
M: nice
Me: I'm not quite there over here yet

Rum and Monkey: The Colossal Death Robot Test

Can you tell I'm bored?


Rum and Monkey: The Colossal Death Robot Test:


"
Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey"

Rum and Monkey: The World Extremity Test

tee hee - I have time to waste and this site has funny quizzes! That said, I had no idea about these facts with the Nile.
Rum and Monkey: The World Extremity Test: "
Which Extremity of the World Are You?
From the towering colossi at Rum and Monkey."

Rum and Monkey: Which Famous Homosexual Are You?

Wow! I didn't know Eleanor Roosevelt was homsexual!


Rum and Monkey: Which Famous Homosexual Are You?:



Which Famous Homosexual Are You? Brought to you by Rum and Monkey"

Rum and Monkey: What kind of pirate am I?

Rum and Monkey: What kind of pirate am I?: " One of my co-workers who also plays WoW asked me to join him in forming a pirate-themed Undead only guild. I agreed and have created a new character - Roche an undead warlock on the Venture Co. server. I took the name from the real life Dutch pirate Roche Brasiliano. In this spirit, it's time for you to vote! (Considering no one has yet left a signature in the guest book, I probably shouldn't hope for much, but here it is!)

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

"

Unsolved problems in physics - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Unsolved problems in physics - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I had Carl Sagan's Cosmos on in the background last night. He has a very odd voice both soothing and increbily boring at the same time and is inflections are irritating! He was talking about the then current theories about the origin of the universe. He noted that the Hindu religious texts have a concept of time and space that closely mirrors current thinking in cosmology. One interesting idea he stated from the Hindu mythos is the cocept of a Dharma year. Apparently the universe and all of existence is thought to be the dream of the creator who sleeps and awakes in cycles of time. he sleeps for a 100 Dharma years and when he awakens the universe will end. He will lay awake for another 100 dharma years and then sleep again for another 100 dharma years and this cycle has been repeating forever. According to Sagagm, apparently also in the Hindu tradition is a followup thought that if man is the dream of the creator it is entirely possible that the creator is the dream of man. Brings to minf the mind-body dichotomy where does reality begin and how does reality relate to our conception of it? The cycle continues...

BBC NEWS | Americas | Arabic T-shirt sparks airport row

BBC NEWS Americas Arabic T-shirt sparks airport row

Home of the free, my ass!

BBC NEWS | Americas | CNN says sorry for live mic gaffe

BBC NEWS Americas CNN says sorry for live mic gaffe

On the plus side, everyone now knows for certain that she really likes her husband...

WoW Forums -> I played WoW, I became a terrorist (story!)

WoW Forums -> I played WoW, I became a terrorist (story!)

BBC NEWS | Americas | Canada university in campaign row

BBC NEWS Americas Canada university in campaign row

I don't think I need to say any more than - this is great!

Biz Bytes : RFID and Those Spooky Spychip Rumors

Biz Bytes : RFID and Those Spooky Spychip Rumors

Huh. When I was in law school we talked about the implications of RFID technology. Chilling.

Rum and Monkey: The Historical Lunatic Test

Rum and Monkey: The Historical Lunatic Test: "
Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey."

BBC - Health - Ask the doctor - Human decomposition after death

BBC - Health - Ask the doctor - Human decomposition after death

No comment necessary...

Branding is Dead; Long Live Branding by Seth Godin

[In case you were wondering - BzzAgent releases 2 chapters at a time.]

Here’s my take:

1. The data is irrefutable. The number of massive megabrands and their value (in terms of the premium consumers are willing to pay) is shrinking, and fast. You can’t charge as much for a Sony DVD player or a Marlboro cigarette as you used to.

2. The number of new microbrands is exploding. Blogger Hugh MacLeod, founder of gapingvoid.com, is a brand now. If we define the word “brand” as shorthand for a set of commercial attributes, emotions, stories, whatever, then any blogger with a following has a brand. And the same goes for the thousands of microbrews, perfumes, and hot-sauce products. All are brands, all cluttering the shelves of our minds.

3. There’s a difference between brands and branding. Brands exist whether you want them to or not. Brands aren’t going to go away anytime soon. Brands are a useful shorthand for a complicated asset within an organization. Branding, on the other hand, is a thing you do. And as an activity, branding is problematic. Branding is ill defined, usually vacuous, often expensive, and totally unpredictable. You shouldn’t aim to be someone who does branding.

Markets engage in conversations, but marketing often doesn’t. The reality is that most brands are actually monologues, not dialogues. A conversation might create a better, more robust, more useful brand but, alas, most organizations can’t handle that truth. So they do their best to do it the old way.

Big brands are dying. Little brands are doing great. Branding is a weird gig.

There. Let’s hope that riff helps my brand a bit.

Brand My Car, Brand Me by Seth Godin

[Another interesting chapter for Small is the New Big from BzzAgent - i didn't care much for the first couple of chapters but the recent ones I've postd are quite insightful.]

I saw a bumper sticker that I really liked. It said, IS IT TRANSPORTATION OR A LIFESTYLE? Of course, you never see a bumper sticker like that on a Mercedes. It was on a beater of a Subaru, naturally.

Then I noticed that the Wall Street Journal has started running a regular feature on which
celebrities and industry luminaries are buying which car in which city.

It’s a little odd, if you think about it. Here’s one of the biggest purchases the average person makes, and we’re interested in which famous people are endorsing our choices.

But then the real question hit me. The car dominates our culture. It has a huge impact on our cities, on our balance of trade, on the environment, and on world politics. If everyone gave up SUVs and drove hybrids, we’d essentially be independent of foreign oil and a major threat to the atmosphere would virtually disappear (as would asthma, smog, etc.). But almost no one suggests this as a potential solution to some of our country’s problems.

Why? Because somehow we’ve marketed this formula to ourselves: car = self-esteem.
I mean, I love my Miata. I drive it with a smile on my face, and I like to believe that I really drive it the way it was designed to be driven. Of course, SUV users like to justify their purchase in exactly the same way I do. Why do we care so much about what we drive? I certainly don’t give the same thought to my shoes or the kind of pen I use. What would happen if there were no car choices (except maybe the paint job)?

Imagine for a second that all the time and money and competitive drive we put into buying, cleaning, improving, tuning, and tweaking our cars needed to be spent in other ways. What if there were only two choices? You could either get a big car (a slow, ugly van) or a little car (a slightly less slow sedan) and that was it? In our postindustrial age, would this radical change grind capitalism to a halt?

In the name of national security, world peace, and environmental longevity, it’s an interesting thought exercise, isn’t it?

From a marketing point of view, the discussion is even more interesting. When you take away an expensive option for expressing one’s self-esteem (cars, for example), human beings quickly find substitutes. It might be Timberland boots downtown, or Prada bags uptown. Both are ridiculously overpriced for the utility they deliver, but it’s the story we tell ourselves that matters, the label, the image, the peace of mind.

How do some marketers create this aura of self-esteem while others fail?

I think when traditional marketers talk about “brand,” self-esteem value is what they mean. A true brand is something where the self-esteem value far exceeds the utility. It might be Heinz ketchup or a Rolex watch or a Marlboro cigarette, but in each case there’s a truly emotional connection between the brand and the user.

Alas, almost all marketers fail in creating a brand. Fortunately, the allure of a powerful brand (like Disney) appears to keep the nonwinners (like Six Flags) trying.

I’m way off the topic of cars here, but I’m really not. What I’m worried about now are side effects—the unintended consequences of excellent branding. I’m not in favor of the government’s getting in the middle of this, but I sure wish I could figure out how to market our way out of this problem. It’s one of the great tragedies of our profession, imho.

Fatherhood

M: i hear you are refusing to promise your offspring to N's godson
Me: No one is good enough for my daughter!
M: You ARE a daddy!
Me: :-) Yeah, you noticed? lol

Art Ephiphany

Come to think of it, the first epiphany I ever had was actually in my AP Art History class my last semester in High School. We were talking about the development of photography and how that impacted art and I came to the realization that relaism could no longer hold a candle to photography and that art became not so much a medium of depiction of a theme as much as a medium to convey the essence of a theme. In other words with the development of photography, paintings could no longer compete with technology for realism and had to express ideas rather than accurate depictions of themes. It was mind-blowing - I almost fell off my seat.

On blogging revisited

M: btw, i love your last post
Me: which one?
M: god in all things
that is very much how i feel about religion/spirituality
Me: oh that one
M: yeah, that one!!
Me: its one of the reason's I started the blog - I don't remember the details!
but that said, do I need to if I've successfully incorporated my conclusions into my belief structure?
it is nice to go back and look over what I've come up with with a critical eye though
M: hmmm - no, you;ve already achieved what you're supposed to accomplish by remembering
Me: well but i don't remember all the nuances of the argument
what i remember was in general terms
and I'm sure I missed something important
but that said - its there now and I can work on it if the need move me
moves
M: yeah
Me: one of the problems with contemplating an idea is that if you aren't acively working on it you tend to forget details that are important and can lose the thrust of your thoughts and have a hard time picking up where you left off
M: on the other hand, you often get really good, different perspective that way
Me: sure but it bothers me if I comepltely forget what that insight was the got me excited about the idea in the first place!
M: well that would be irritating :)

Desire

Me: what's the nature of desire?
are we ruled by our hormones?
M: some people are ruled by hormones and pheromones and desire i guess...but i would hazard that many more people are just ruled by the need to alleviate the boredom they feel because they chose unfulfilling lives or are living their lives in an unfulfilling way
in these cicrumstances, i mean
Me: I would agree with your qualification but that said, the allure of excitement is powerful with or without any pre-existing boredom
M: yes, it is

Communication

M: why is that all families are weird?
Meunresolved issues that no one wants to confront
M right. so I guess it's just human nature...
gift of language not always a gift? packs of animals seem pretty content, by and large
Me:well language is limited in that not every one has the same vocabulary
or even the correct definition and intonation required to get an idea across
plus there's always misinterpretation etc.
failing the ability to communicate effectively its sometimes seen as better to just not bring up a topic
that of course doesn't make it any easier
and human nature just makes it worse
M: yeah....

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Pluto vote 'hijacked' in revolt

BBC NEWS Science/Nature Pluto vote 'hijacked' in revolt

Apparently the whol planet or not issue isn't actually settled with Pluto - not that that's entirely surprising...

BBC NEWS | Business | 'Product sabotage' helps consumers

BBC NEWS Business 'Product sabotage' helps consumers

Hmm... Interesting.

If you ever order a Chai from Starbucks make sure you ask for "no water". Sometimes they make it a third milk a third water and a third chai mix as opposed to the 50/50 milk/Chai mixture its supposed to be.

Also in any drink with froth on it, ask for it "wet" if you'd rather have more milk and less froth.

BBC NEWS | Business | Karaoke finale for trade summit

BBC NEWS Business Karaoke finale for trade summit

Toilet diplomacy...

The Fantasticks

I was listening to NPR on my way home from work yesterday and heard the interview of the lyricist for the Fantasticks http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5697901 who rewrote a song "It Depends on What You Pay" to take out the word "rape". That brought back a flood of memories. It was the second play I worked on. It was also the one where I got my first epiphany on the LUO. I was backstage during one of the performances with plenty of time between scene changes and I was reading Zen and the Bible by J. K. Kadowaki.

It's a discussion about how the author, a Catholic priest used Zen meditation techniques in his worship an interesting read and the first time I had read anything about Buddhism. In it he made the comment that the Judeo-Christian culture is based on a desert religion a relgion that begins with the expulsion from the Garden of Eden. This is so engrained in the religion such that life is a constant struggle to try to return to the Garden. Having developed in the Middle East, that reminder of not being in the Garden was a painful reality in the early development of Judeo-Christianity. He contrasts this with the Native American cultures who followed Nature-based religions. Most of those cultures were living in bountiful harmony with nature and saw no need to get back to anything. Why would you want to go back to the Garden of Eden, when it's already all around you? It could be that at a fundamental level our modern Western culture has not gotten this longing for the Garden out of its system. While I agree that self-improvement and self-enlightenment are worthy goals, and that you shouldn't necessarily settle for what you have now and should strive for something better, you should also recognize the benefits of what you have and the life that you lead and recognize how much worse it could have been.

I seem to recall that shortly after he made the Garden of Eden statment, he talked about the concept of God being the sum total of existence about how we are all a part of God and how seperating God from ourselves cheapens the idea of what God is. I recall when that idea sunk in me I felt lightheaded and tingly. It was a "Woah!" moment. Everything seemed different somehow after that. I could no longer look at anyone or anything the same way. There was an GIOAT that seemed so obvious and correct. I remember being so excited about the idea, but I was alone backstage with the play going on so I couldn't tell anyone about it right away. Then there was scene change and I had to go out.

But that formed a basis from which everything I've come to believe has developed. Everything has bits of wisdom that you can't ignore. Everyone and everything is part of this existence and a part of the Divine tha deserves respect because it is also a part of you. You cannot outright reject a belief system without losing wisdom and knowledge that will only expand and extend your own understanding.

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | China acts on funeral strippers

BBC NEWS Asia-Pacific China acts on funeral strippers

Strippers at funerals... I'll have to mention this to my wife...

BBC NEWS | Health | Tea 'healthier' drink than water

BBC NEWS Health Tea 'healthier' drink than water

I drink at least 1 or 2 a day... maybe I should step it up a notch...

BBC NEWS | Special Reports | Pluto loses status as a planet

BBC NEWS Special Reports Pluto loses status as a planet

What's in a name?

On Wellness

N: how are ya?
Me: I'm well
you?
N: fairly well.
Me: fairly?
i guess that's better than unfairly
N: *grin*
just trying to handle a bunch of random unrelated nitpicky stuff.
Me: and that makes you less well?
N: less happy, certainly.
Me: but still the same level of wellness?
N: um
If you're going by purely physically then sure.
Me: although there is a marked relation between happines and health
so maybe you are right
N: heh
and my assessment of my wellness generally takes into account my mental state.
Me: that's true

OK Go - video

OK Go - video

E had the latest OK Go video on her blog - I thought I do her one better and post a link to the OK web site.

The "Here It Goes Again Video" is the one everyone is talking about with the treadmills and such, but I also like the "A Million Ways" Video.

Reasons for Blogging

M: I wanted to ask you, what do you want out of your blog? do you have goals for it, audiences you would like to reach, etc?
Me: well I don't know...
I don't entirely remember why I started up the blog but it was just before my wife and the kids went away for three weeks - she was the matron of honor at the wedding of her best friend back home and the bachelorette party, the wedding shower and the actual wedding were scheduled one weekend after the next so it made more sense for her to stay down there than travel 7 hours one way repeatedly for every weekend. But when she was gone I got lonely and melancholic and I'm not sure if depressed was the right word, but I had a lot of time on my hands.
I think that's when I really started putting more effort into recording my thoughts.
I seem to remember a time in college where I was having all these insights about life that I have since incorporated into my understanding of LUE that I haven't entirely forgot but I don't remember all the details.
I think the title of the blog is really what I'm trying to do. I think I'm trying to walk around the boundaries of my mind and just figure out what it all means. Well not entirely, but I've gotten down a lot of the outlines of many things I think are important. I haven't fleshed out a lot of the details - a bit here and there. I've also went in directions I didn't expect with gender roles which for whatever reason comes up a lot in here and I will probably post this conversation as well.
I do talk a lot about religion and reality and science and life and I was actually in the middle of a post right now when you asked the question.
I don't have any goals for the site that I'm aware of but I have told several people about the site and I think there's some self interest in who I've told
Interestingly enough I haven't told any of my male friends, although I really have no objection to anyone reading the blog.
The only way you'd know who's blog it was if someone told you.
M: Myself, I think that's how blogs should operate - not that anonymity is key, but the personality & mentality is all that matters, not whether or not you find someone attractive, or could run into them in your local grocery store.
But I'm a traditionalist (if one can be a traditionalist about blogging!)
Me: I don't think I'm trying to reach anyone in particular, but I think the people I've told about the blog are people I think are open to ... me?
Does that make sense?
M: But still - why are you sharing it? What motivates you to define to yourself what your opinions/thoughts/feelings are, and then make that public knowledge (even if it can't be traced back to you by those who don't know you)?
You could write letters; or even long emails to a mailing list of your friends. Why the Internet?
I'm just curious! Blogging has always scared the pants off me because of the public opinion thing.
Me: It scared me too!
The thing is I first started a blog to put my family pictures and I saw how easy it was. It also kept a permanent record of the pics and anyone could get to them.
Right away I realized that if I were to ever start a blog I wouldn't want my parents reading it
I have friends (who read this blog) who do blog to let their families know what they are up to but I'm not one of them.
I never kept a journal before and when I write with pen and paper I find it too confining. Typing lets me play with words and sentences and has a freedom that I don't feel when I write. I don't think it helps that I have horrible handwriting and I can't often interpret my own scratches but with this medium I have a place to take note of the things that interest me and I'll always know where they are.
I think that realization didn't come with the blog but it developed over time
I don't know what I was trying to do.
If you look at the earliest entries they read like I don't have a clue and I didn't (I still don't have completely clear idea of what I'm doing) but I think if you were to start a blog you would eventually settle on something that works for you.
M: Hm - I understand the different way writing works on a keyboard & screen rather than pen & paper; yet still - there is this element of automatic audience that really interests me
Simply because it's a public space. like, a journal? unless I publish it, or someone sneaks a look, it's intended for no audience but my own later self. If I did publish the journal, even if no one read it, I would be changing the relationship of my writing to the world
Me: An audience is not automatic!
There's not guarantee that anyone will stick around
M: well yeah - an audience is presupposed (even if one never shows up *Grin* )
Me: LOL well you can track that; I do get random hits from countries around the world.
I have no idea who they are exactly although when I get hits from Ithaca and other specific places I have some idea who's in those locations
M: Cool. Where have you had hits from?
Me: India, Argentina, Mexico, to name a few.
M: I do like the Internet
Me: :-)
Me: Well I think there's probably an element of narcissism in here. I mean, again, if you look at the limited invited audience I think that maybe I'm trying to get the people who I've invited to look at this a short cut to realize there's more to me than you might get at first glance. Why I've done that I have no idea, but I'm acknowledging the possible existence of such factors.
I don't know what making myself and the people I know who are reading the blog aware of my own failings does but I know that I'm learning of it. I try to be brutally honest with myself on this thing and I guess there's a risk that I might end up hurting myself and maybe some of the readers but so far the level or potential hurt is minimal or non-existent. And I admit there is some self-censorship that I recognized early
*shrug*
M: Sure - but all forms of expression come with that. I don't know if it's narcissism to want people to know you better - you're making it easier for them to really connect with you. If all you ever wrote about on your site - and many people do this - was yourself, OK. But what have any of us got to share with the world but what we think & feel?
And narcissism in this context might imply a sense of gain, or desire for gain; and that you haven't got either
Me: Well I want your love and approval
*grin*
M: You have it! That was easy! :)
Me: I want you to love and approve of me more
:-)
M: Ha!
Me: But of course, there's no guarantee that anyone will read whatever I'm typing and love and approve of me more. I mean I'm not exactly saying things that are endearing. I mean, who cares about dark matter and the existence of god in the same breath.
M: um, Phillip Pullman? :P
Me: LOL, good point, but I don't think he's reading the blog.
I do think I've benefited from having a place to put my thoughts down in.
My friend who blogs for her family has a great site and I always enjoy reading what she has to say about her family and her observations and pictures but I couldn't write the kind of blog she has.
This one is me.
Very, very me.
And I like having it all in one place now.
M: I'm glad you feel your blog IS very you - that's important. I feel it's very you but I don't know you as well!
Me: Eell hopefully you know me better after having read it but that said this is at a level that might turn many people off.
M: Back to my question about audience. Who would you want reading who would also be turned off by its current level of intimacy?
Me: Good question...
The people who I have told about it are people who's opinions I respect very much and whom I like very much. That doesn't mean that I don't like or respect the people I haven't mentioned this site too. I think I have a particular connection to the people I have mentioned the site too
but again, the "audience" is still just me.
I'm perambulating.
But did I answer your question?
M: I think so. though still - I don't think the real audience is yourself, or it wouldn't be public.
Me: Well its not public
M: I hope I'm not being too much of a nudge - I am just fascinated by ownership, audience, expression etc
Me: No, no, this is a fascinating discussion, and I will be posting it. :-)
M: Do only those people can see it to whom you send the link?
Me: No anyone can go to the site, but its more semi-private than public in that if you were to stumble across it you would have no idea who's site it was. That, and I hide the identities of the people I talk about in the postings.
Well I think I'm writing it as a record or my thoughts because I found my self trying to recall exactly what it was I had come up with the last time I was on a thinking binge and I couldn't remember the details.
Frankly if everyone stopped reading the blog now, I'd still keep posting.
M: Wow - that's great. Maybe I should keep one! I haven't been writing much recently
Usually writing helps me think things through, really process what's going on in my life, but lately I've been too emotionally exhausted for the further emotional exertion of working it out.
Me: Well another advantage of a blog is you can't lose it - unless Google goes out of business...
M: he he

Gender roles revisted

[I wrote this earlier and for whatever reason all the text was gone when it was published. This is an attempt to recover what I orginally had so its will probably be a bit different.]

Last night I made about eight 9-inch loaves of zuchinni bread out of a 2.5 lb zuchinni that I had to use up before it went bad. I brought a couple of loaves in to work and everyone was surprised that I made them. I always like recieving compliments about my cooking but it is mildlly irritating when those compliments are coupled with "You're a guy, and you cook? How is that possible?" - haven't you ever heard of Emiril?

My wife is away this week visiting her dad and she took the kids with her. I have to force myself to get of my butt and do anything. I don't feel any motivation to do anything. I don't even feel like playing WoW as much. That said I have been getting a lot done. I still miss her and the kids.

[this isn't exactly what I had before, but it will have to do...]

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

BBC NEWS Entertainment Stargate shut by Sci Fi Channel


AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!! SAY IT ISN'T SOOOOO!!!!!!
:-(

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Team finds 'proof' of dark matter

BBC NEWS Science/Nature Team finds 'proof' of dark matter

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Ferocious ants bite like a bullet

BBC NEWS Science/Nature Ferocious ants bite like a bullet

Neat! Look at the video too.

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Great maths puzzle 'solved'

BBC NEWS Science/Nature Great maths puzzle 'solved'

It seems that I misunderstood the NPR version of this story even more than I thought I did - either that or one of these sources isn't reporting it correctly. *shrug*

Imagining the Tenth Dimension - A Book by Rob Bryanton

Imagining the Tenth Dimension - A Book by Rob Bryanton

The above link is to a flsh site that has an interesting segment on how to imagine the 10 dimensions of space-time. Its an intriguing listen - go take a gander at it if you have the time. It's interesting to contemplate the other dimensions and udnerstand that being creatures with senses that function primarily in 4 dimensions (move about in 3 and can dimly percieve the fourth) that reality can be thought of in terms of other dimensions that encompass all of creation. The flash site says there can be no more than 10 dimensions in at least the way he has defined them, but I thought Hawkins gave a proof for 14 - I could be wrong on that point. This got to me because of this story http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5686700 that I heard on NPR this morning. Apparently a Russian mathematician provided a proof that for any dimension that doesn't have a hole it you can reduce it to a point given this complicated proof that I don't understand, but this gives the Bryanton flash description some credibility in dimensional analysis. Its a bit freaky to think about the universe and existence reduced to a point but if you can represent it as such then our understanding of the nature of reality is taken one step further.

Another point he raises is that the universe as we know it has developed for a certain set of starting conditions from which the vagueries of quantum mechanics has evolved everythign we see now. This does not mean that there can't be universes out there with different starting conditions which have realities very different than our own. We are limited in being about to percieve them just yet. The possibility of time travel is merely one of dimensional looping and moving between possible universes which as described by Bryanton doesn't violate the principles of quantum mechanics.

The Begotten by Lisa T. Bergren

So another Bzz Agent thing I'm on is with the Penguin Publishing group and I was given an excerpt for the book listed in the title of this entry. The brief intro to the book given by Penguin is that the author wrote the book because she thought the Da Vinci Code was too heretical so she sought to create a page-turner that was more "scripturally sound". I'm not suer she succeeded. The novel is set in Italy and first starts in 700ish AD Constantinople and then jumps to 1300ish AD Italy and is full of evil wizards performing black arts and saintly healers protecting the innocent. I'm a big sci-fi/fasntasy buff and it was surprising to see the elements of magic and healing in a Christian context. If this were set in some mytical place I wouldn't have given it a second thought, but applying it this way is clever. It did get me thinking about how a lot of fantasy writers incorporate magic into their works but as soon as you put healing in a Chritian context in a work it smacks of a religiosity that might turn some people on or off depending on their inclinations. The excerpt reads like many fantasy novels I've read and certainly begins like one. I'm uncertain where its intending to go, but I expect it will likely end like many of thee fantasy novels I have read, with the twist that as this book is set in supposedly our Universe, we know how its supposed to end.

Socks

[Yet another essay by Seth Gobin from his upcoming book Small is the New Big. This one is as example of turning a commodity into a fashion statement. How do you make the ordinary and mundane exciting? Is it by spinning it differently and presenting a new package? Or is it something inherent in the product that makes it easier to do so? Is an iPod all that different from a sock?]


I love this Web site: LittleMissmatch.com

They sell mismatched socks for eleven-year-old girls. Hundreds of varieties, four categories so you don’t clash. Only sold in odd lots. You can’t buy a pair. There are 133 styles, and none of them match.

Think about how easy this was to do, and how remarkable it is. Think about how many sock marketers thought of this and then got scared and didn’t go for it. Realize how turning socks into a remarkable collectible is both obvious and satisfying and likely to succeed.

I wish they came in my size.

But why should you care about socks? After all, you make something serious, you sell to big business, you have a factory, you deal in intangibles.

That’s exactly why you should care. Socks used to be a low-margin, low-interest commodity. Littlemissmatch.com changes that by creating a fashion. Why, precisely, can’t you?

How Much Would You Pay to Be On Oprah?

[Another essay by Seth Godin from his upcoming book - Small is the New Big. An insightful observation in this one. I notice that he tries to make us see the obvious and asks questions to make us see a potentially different way to do business. Some parallel applications to our everyday lives can probably be taken in analyzing problems we have and looking at the way others handle tham and asking why what works for others can't work for us.... just a thought.]


What would happen to your organization if you had a solid ten minutes with Her Majesty? How much benefit would you receive if you were able to tell your story to millions of people on television? Of course, you can’t pay to be on Oprah, but if you could, no doubt you would.
This simple thought exercise exposes a paradox that we’re finding online. Should authors get paid to put their work into Google Print, the online service that lets you search for information
inside a book?
How do you measure how much to invest in a blog?
The persistent reporter who spoke to me the other day
wouldn’t stop asking the same question: “What percentage of your annual sales are directly attributable to your blog?” Perhaps you’ve heard the same question from your boss. Proof is what they seek! Management doesn’t want to invest in new media without understanding what
the short-term payoff is. Authors don’t want to “give away” content without proof that it’ll pay off.
But they’d all pay to be on Oprah.
That local paper, the one that struggles to make its subscription and newsstand bottom line every day, wants you to register before you can read an article online. And they want to know a lot about you (your gender, your date of birth) before they will allow you to pay attention
to their site.
The same company that runs ads hoping you’ll buy a newspaper that costs more to print than it does to sell puts up roadblocks to keep you from reading online.
Wait.
“Pay attention” are the key words. The consumer is already paying. They’re paying with a precious commodity called attention. Instead of fending them off and holding them back, perhaps the newspaper ought to be making it easier for them to give their precious attention away.
A quick gut check will probably confirm what many of us truly believe: The number of channels of communication is going to continue to increase. And either you’ll have a
channel or you won’t. Either you’ll have access to the attention of the people you need to talk with (notice I didn’t say “talk at”), or you won’t.
So, the real question to ask isn’t, “How much will I get paid to talk with these people?” The real question is, “How much will I pay to talk with these people?”

BBC NEWS | Health | 'Friendly bacteria' gum for teeth

BBC NEWS Health 'Friendly bacteria' gum for teeth

Freedom

"... You see, I believe in freedom, Mr. Lipwig. Not many people do, although they will, of course, protest otherwise. And no practical definition of freedom would be completley without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed it is the freedom upon which all the others are based." - Lord Vetinari in Going Postal by Terry Pratchett

Mr. Lipwig was given the choice of death or working for Lord Vetinari, and while the example is dramatic I concur that rights and freedoms cannot be had without the corresponding duties and consequences. The is no such thing as a consequence free choice and no right is granted without someone having to pay a price for it.

Now reading...

Going Postal by Terry Pratchett

Growing trees

I started A Tree Grows in Brooklyn on Sunday on my way to DC and finished all 480ish pages of it on Tuesday. I couldn't believe how fast I read it and how into the chracters I was. I was captivated by both the coming of age story of the main character but also of the life lessons that that ran through the book. I thought it was interesting that all the excerpts I published below are from one character who is only mentioned briefly in the book.

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Q&A New planets proposal

BBC NEWS Science/Nature Q&A New planets proposal

BBC NEWS | Health | Research finds 'unique human DNA'

BBC NEWS Health Research finds 'unique human DNA'

Interesting... Note the following:

"The analysis showed that HAR1 is essentially the same in all mammals except humans. There were just two differences between the versions found in chickens and chimps.
However, there were 18 differences between the chimp version and the one found in humans - which scientists say is an incredible amount of change to take place in a few million years. "

Experience

Another quote from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (on page 466):

"To look at everything always as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time: Thus is your time on earth filled with glory."

Dying...

Another quote from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (on page 434):

"Ai. I am eighty-five now and I feel that this is my last time of sickness. I wait for death with the courage I gained from living. I will not speak falsely and say to you: 'Do not grieve for me when I go,' I have loved my children and tried to be a good mother and it is right that my children grieve for me. But let your grief be gentle and brief. And let resignation creep into it. Know that I shall be happy. I shall see face to face the great saints I have loved all my life."

Living..

Another quote from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (on page 335):

"Sometimes I think it's better to suffer bitter unhappiness and to fight and to scream out, and even to suffer that terrible pain, than just to be...safe. ... At least she knows she's living."

BBC NEWS | Health | Security 'bad news for sex drive'

BBC NEWS Health Security 'bad news for sex drive'

Interesting...

In defense of the Easter Bunny

The following is an excerpt from page 83 of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I read it on the flight down to DC and I'm surprised by how much I'm enjoying it. Its a discussion that a young mother is having with her mother about how to raise a child she feels she isn't prepared for. The excerpt struck me as the most valid argument I have yet come across for teaching my kids about Santa Claus:

"And you must tell the child the legends I told you - as my mother told them to me and her mother to her. You must tell the fairy tails of the old country. You must tell of those not of this earth who live forever in the hearts of people - fairies, elves, dwarfs and such. You must tell of the great ghosts that haunted your father's people and of the evil eye which a hex put on your aunt. You must teach the child of the signs that come to the women of our family when there is trouble and death to be. And the child must believe in the Lord God and Jesus, His Only Son." She crossed herself.
"Oh, and you must not forget the Kris Kringle. The child must believe in him until she reaches the age of six."
"Mother, I know there are no ghosts or fairies. I would be teaching the child foolish lies."
Mary spoke sharply. "You do not know whether there are not ghosts on earth or angels in heaven."
"I know there is no Santa Claus."
"Yet you must teach the child that these things are so."
"Why? When I, myself, do not believe?"
"Because," explained Mary Rommely simply, "the child must have a valuable thing which is called imagination. The child must have a secret world in which live things that never were. It is necessary that she believes. She must start out by believing in things not of this world. Then when the world becomes too ugly for living in, the child can reach back and live in her imagination. I, myself, even in this day and at my age, have great need of recalling the miraculous lives of the Saints and the great miracles that have come to pass on earth. Only by having these things in my mind can I live beyond what I have to live for."
"The child will grow up and find out things for herself. She will know that I lied. She will be disappointed."
"That is what is called learning the truth. It is a good thing to learn the truth one's self. To first believe with all your heart, and then not to believe is good too. It fattens the emotions and makes them to stretch. When as a women life and people disappoint her, she will have had practice in disappointment and it will not come so hard. In teaching your child, do not forget that suffering is good too. It makes a person rich in character."

Now Reading....

I finished A First Glance at St. Thomas Aquinas - A Handbook for Peeping Thomists by Ralph McInerny and while I do have a follow-up book with some translations of Aquinas that I could read and that I am interested in reading, I think I'll take a less "heavy" jump into another genre.
I'm now reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith:














One of the admins at work had it on her counter - she had just finished it and I commented that I had heard about it. She let me borrow it. The first couple of paragaphs are promising.

Enthusiasts by Seth Godin

Depending on his area of expertise, an enthusiast cares about the answers to the following questions:

“Paddle shift or stick?” “SACD or DVD-A?” “Cherrywood or carbon fiber?” “Pho Bac or Pho Bang?” “PowerBook or iBook?” “Hearthstone or parchment paper?” “Habanero or chipotle?” “Linen or organic cotton?”

I’m an enthusiast. As you may have guessed, I am every marketer’s dream. I am an enthusiast in not
just one but a bunch of areas. I get magazines with names like The Rosengarten Report and catalogs
from Garrett Wade. Enthusiasts are the ones with otaku. We’re the ones
who care about what marketers are up to. The ones who seek out new products and new corporations,
the ones who boldly go . . . (oops, sorry, another enthusiastic topic jumped in there). Anyway, we
are the ones who will spread the word about your innovation, tell our friends and colleagues about
your new Purple Cow.

It’s not just consumer goods. Enthusiasts read the Harvard Business Review and get excited about a
new consulting firm or a new technique. Enthusiasts read the classifieds at the back of Advertising Age
to figure out which ad agencies are doing well. And political enthusiasts decide who gets elected
president of the United States.

Plenty of marketers have decided that they need to be obsessed with these otaku-filled piggy banks. Some of them have even rented or, better yet, collected permission-based lists of the most profitable subsets of these populations. And yet most of them fail.

I think they fail for the very same reason you often fail in getting the enthusiast in your life the perfect
Christmas gift.

Enthusiasts don’t want you to hand them a gift certificate. (They’ll figure out how to get the money
for the thing they really want.) Nor do they want you to give them a gift and say, “The salesman at the
store said you’d like this.” While you may satisfy our short-term craving for more, you also remind
enthusiasts that you’re not on the bus. If you’re not one of us, you’ve disappointed us, made us feel
marginalized, or, at the very least, made us feel like failures for being unable to persuade you about the
joys of our enthusiasm.

Enthusiasts are enthusiastic! This means we want to spread the word. It means we want other people to
“get it” as well. We want the organizations we buy from to feel like we do, to care as much as we do
about the experiences and the products and the processes. We want our friends and fans not just to
buy us a stick shift warmer for the Ferrari, but to research it first, to compare the different warmers,
to understand the trade-offs and make the same (obvious) choice that we would.

When you take a chowhound to dinner (that’s what enthusiasts of good, authentic restaurants call
themselves), she wants to know that you care as deeply as she does about the choice—not that you
picked the closest restaurant listed in Zagat. When you design a product for a videophile, he wants to
know that you’ve spent as many hours staring at the flat screen as he does.

Visit Steve Deckert’s site, Decware, and you’ll have no doubt that he’s a true enthusiast. It’s different
than buying from some invisible technology conglomerate. That’s one reason it’s so easy for little
companies like this to do just great with the early adopters with otaku. We buy from him because he’s
like us. He’s one of us.

So, what should you do if you want to sell to an enthusiast, or buy a Christmas present for an
enthusiast? She’s not going to make allowances for low price or great service or kindness. She’s going to
be picky. She’s going to be aware of the trade-offs. And she’s not going to go easy on you. If she did, she
wouldn’t be an enthusiast, would she?

What you’ll need to do, I’m afraid, is become one yourself. If it’s important to you to deal with people
with otaku, you’ve got to get some.

[Disclaimer for those of you who don't know. I'm a BzzAgent - a word of mouth product placement agent (www.bzzagent.com). Its a neat concept trying to tap into the idea that people influence others in their circle and that word-of-mouth is one of the best ways to sell a product. One of our products in the book Small is The New Big by Seth Godin which is a collection of short essays. This is one of them. He prefaces his book by saying that most people hire him to tell them what they already knew about themselves but didn't know they did, and in that spirit a lot of it seems pretty obvious to me, but this particular essay was I thought particularly insightful.]

Critical reviews of your grocery aisle

You can now buy groceries from Amazon.com. Look at the reviews:
Amazon.com: Chiquita Bananas, 4.5 lbs: Gourmet Food

And when you're done with that go look at some of the other products. Its fun!

Musical Instruments Gallery, Music Gallery, Experimental music, and Music Downloads

Musical Instruments Gallery, Music Gallery, Experimental music, and Music Downloads

A really neat list of odd musical instruments.

peter callesen

peter callesen
Wow!

Patience

I will say that the problem with philosophy books is that its very hard to keep reading them past their basic premises if you completely disagree with the basic premises. I see where they are going with the book and I know I can't accept the conclusion because I know the premises are just plain wrong or incomplete and missing what I believe are key points that should be addressed.

I did in fact stop reading a book halfway through it when I just couldn't get past the fact that the writier was just completely wrong. Of course it was a collection of dialogues of some ancient greek philosopher who was a student of or contemperaneous with Aristotle and of course his basic premises were based on science and observations that while excusab;e for the time were just plain wrong in my mind and I couldn't force myself to keep going after he set up his opponent for his "killing blow".

I have also read through books where I didn't think the author took his analysis far enough, but I think that's an easier fault to excuse. I'm thinking of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance where the author (I forget his name) talks about life being a series of mountains with peaks and valleys. I'm not going to discuss it now because I'd have to look up his thought to get it straight, but it was intersting in that I had a similar line of self-examination and as I was reading what he was saying it all sounded very familar to me and then he stopped where I had kept on going several steps further. It was a rude jolt for me and frustrated me because his follow up comments in my mind could have been resolves if he kept going along the lines I had considered. I read through the rest of the book anyway because by that point I was about 80% through it but I kept having this feeling that he would have been better served by taking his thoughts just those few more steps that may have helped settle his mind.

Anyway, the point is I'm not sure where McInerny is going with the book and whether or not it goes to places I won't follow. I do have a book of Aquinas' writings I was going to follow up with after this one so we'll see how it goes.

Wait and see...

You might have noticed that I havent' been commenting directly on what McInerny has been saying in the First Glance book. McInerny has been describing Aquinas' basis for the unvierse, the existence of God, matter, souls, etc. You would think that I would have a lot to say on the topic and I do, but I'm biting my tongue because he's still referring to everything in terms of why Aquinas thought Aristotle got it right and establishes a basis of a lot of Aquinas's thought. I am hoping he goes beyond this and starts talking about why this is all applicable given our current understanding of matter, energy, and the interchangeable nature of both. I suspect I will be disappointed because this is after all a survey of Aquinas' work and not a modern understanding of it. That said, McInerny seems to indicate that everything that Aquinas says is in fact the Truth. If this is so, theology is on a very shaky foundation.

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | Chinese 'anger bar' is a big hit

BBC NEWS Asia-Pacific Chinese 'anger bar' is a big hit

LOL

Guestbook

Well, I've been posting this blog for a while and I know at least a few people that I've mentioned this site to have commented directly to me, but according to my tracking service there's a bunch of people logging on from locations I know that no one I've mention this site to come from. I'm probably setting myself up for disappointment, but if I don't know you (or even if I do), drop me a line by leaving a comment to this entry. Feel free to share your thoughts on anything I have posted. As you can see I do post some IM conversations that I've had with friends and have preserved their anonymity to the extent that you'd be hard pressed to figure out who it is if you didn't previously know them.

(Note: I've created a link to this entry on the column to the left so it should be accessible from now on.)

End of the line

Take any fact you know and ask of it the question "Why is this so?" If the answer you get is "Just because," then look at the fact again and chances are you will see ambiguity and contradictions that you are either choosing to ignore or have given some consideration and discarded as being improbable , or that you were not willing or able to get into at the time you accepted the fact as fact.

I realize that with the limited time that we have on a daily basis it is impossible to fully examine every thing that we hold as true and to be able to completly anaylze all we know. We do have to assume many things are true and work on the things that we can when we have the time. But more often than not we don't have the time to consider anything. I think that's why this blog has been so good for me. Having access to the Internet and being able to take a few minutes at a time to take down a thought and however briefly analyze it has been mentally cathartic. There are many more questions I would like answered and I haven't explored the questions I have posted in nearly enough depth, but at least I have posted them. I will get them closer to the end of the line whenever I can and I'm grateful for the forum.

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Welcoming Homer the tree-hugger

BBC NEWS Science/Nature Welcoming Homer the tree-hugger
Too funny!

A prisoner in my own land

My brother forwarded this e-mail to me. It's an article written by a Lebanese-American high school friend of ours from when we were in Kuwait whom I've personally lost touch with . Its a different perspective on the troubles in the mid-east. I always knew that I'd run into people I knew in school somewhere - I just don't expect it to be like this. There's a link at the end of the article for a more cleaned up version. While you can gather some of his politics from the article, the piece itself is not overly political and I think worth the read as it brings home what some people have to deal with on a daily basis and the freedoms most of us take for granted.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:
Date: Aug 4, 2006 8:50 AM
Subject: Do you remember Sami Hermez
To:

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:
Date: Aug 4, 2006 12:56 PM
Subject: A prisoner in my own land
To:

This is from one of my close and dear friends. I think many of youwill find the article below quite unique, if anything it illustrateshow complicated life can be, and as far as cliches go, how often we live each day and take so much for granted.I share this article because it is INCREDIBLY insightful and enrichingto anyone who wants to read a dimension of the many dichotomies of theliving in the Arab world let alone in these trying and heart breaking times. And to my friend Sami who is on this mailing list, I amthankful you have out of this ordeal in one piece. Stay out of harmsway my friend. You make us all proud. See you soon comrade :)

Very best,
M

Diaries: Live from Lebanon
A prisoner in my own land
Sami Hermez, Live from Lebanon, 3 August 2006
I was just released from prison. It has taken me a few days to sit down and calmly write about this experience as I have been slightly shocked and dazed. For safety purposes I am choosing to leave out the details of my arrest. It is enough to say that the reason for my detention was that I was "suspected of being a spy for Israel." The ultimate crime: treason. And who but me to be a spy for Israel!

I have been trying to tell my story, what I was doing, why I had been here or there, all of it, but every time I begin writing I feel like I am speaking, again, to my interrogators; I don't like that feeling.

They ask me for my name: Perhaps I will never forget it now if I ever thought otherwise.

My place and date of birth. My religion and sect. I repeat the last one over and over: "Shu Maz'habak?"

Syriani Orthodox. I remember Elias Khouri's novel, Yalo. Would I be tortured like Yalo? I wanted to cry. But you don't. You don't cry. Maybe because you still have hope and confidence in the early stages of your arrest that you should be released because you haven't done anything wrong, and you believe they will soon realize this. So you hold onto pride and dignity, though you feel that they may be of no use here. My thoughts kept drifting; I wondered how I would behave in an enemy prison. As a Lebanese in a Lebanese prison, I felt we were all in this state of war together and should be united. This allowed me to let my guard down and give up being brave or tough, but I knew I had it in me to do otherwise, and so again I imagined how I would behave if they had no right to detain me.

But I felt they did. The details of my arrest fit the profile of a spy. I stood there, in front of my investigator, in front of the secret service (Mukhabarat), and in the presence of other soldiers, and I could only think of how stupid and naive I had been. Since my return to the country, living in Mount Lebanon had kept me at a safe distance from the real fighting in the South, and I had arrived days after most of the heavy bombing had rocked Dahye in the suburbs of Beirut. For these reasons, I did not fully comprehend the idea that we are now living in a state of emergency and that I needed to take the proper safety measures to ensure my own security. After all, this was my country and I knew who I was and that I had done nothing wrong. But one quickly learns that he is not perceived by others the way that he perceives himself, until proven innocent; and how torturous it is to prove innocence! So I was suspected and arrested.

Over the next two days that I was detained, I wondered how useful this experience would be. There was nothing to expose, I thought. I did not want to put the Lebanese government or army in a weaker position than it already was, and after all, they were doing their job. In my head I continued and still continue to blame myself, not the state. I tell myself that, were the tables turned, I would have done the same to someone with my profile, especially in a state of emergency. But something continues to unsettle me. At what point do we sacrifice our freedom for security? Did the army's suspicion have to result in my spending a night in prison and going through this whole experience? And were it not for my connections, I may have spent more than a night in prison, maybe a week or more. I can't help but think, maybe not in my specific case but in that of collaborators caught in the past -- as some are surely innocent while others are guilty -- that part of this is a way for the government to assert its presence and strength; to show in a time of war that it can hold the country together even if it can't fight Israel directly. How do we balance freedom and security in a time of war when we need to be catching the collaborators and spies? The question weighs pregnant in my conscience. I believe the way around it is to treat prisoners properly and humanely -- in much the same way that I was treated.

As my detention continued and I was transferred to a military prison, the war continued above me. In these times of war, life becomes a waiting game. You wait for the next piece of news, for the next bomb to drop, for the war to end. Being arrested in such tense and terrifying moments made me feel even more frustrated because I was, on top of everything, also awaiting my fate. Compounded with this was a feeling of uselessness as I could no longer be active on the humanitarian front -- the reason for my return to Lebanon. And then the bombs fell. An army base that could easily be a target in the coming days is a terrifying place to listen to these sounds of war. Moreover, my family knew nothing of my whereabouts or my condition.

Prison. One night in Prison. No food. Only water with doubtful origins. Handcuffed for six or seven hours at a time. Blindfolded for four hours. What does that do to a person? It must do something to you. You begin to drift...

The sun
fresh air
How one can take such desires for granted.
The day and the night
knowledge of time, of the progression of the day
all of this for granted.
Movements of the hands and arms
The ability to move beyond the four walls of a room
all this for granted
to take orders
to lift your head as you please
for Gods sake, to be human!
All for granted
To be treated as a human, a human being, not an object, a reification of every aspect of your humanity, this is all taken so brazenly for granted.

And since my release, all of this has been re-imagined as I am told that I am being tracked by the US, Jordanian and Lebanese governments (emails and all). How can you live with the knowledge, and worse, the confirmation that you are being watched? For these last few days, my world has felt like the four walls of a room. And I write this to break the silence and let everyone know that I will not be broken or defeated; I will not because I have done nothing wrong. And I will not be as I was the last few days:

No emotions, just laughter, and playing things down. How else does one deal with handcuffs, green blindfolds, dizziness, fear, indignity, and the emptiness of misery, of being alone in a cell, so sadly, sadly defeated. But I'm not defeated. I had always said I would make it to prison before I turned 30 (childish naive thoughts!). Saul Allensky writes that prison creates revolutionaries. Who knows? I think it is Life that creates them and certainly not one night in jail for a stupid mistake.

I can't say that I was completely treated like a human being, but I was treated well, especially for someone suspected of being a collaborator with Israel. They did not hit me. In fact, I want to thank, perhaps even dedicate this, to the guard in the military police prison who offered me a Halaweh sandwich and then later offered to split his tuna sandwich, and whose name remains unknown to me. He had been to prison in his life. A compassionate man. Young, and disgusted with the war. The soldiers I met, like the rest of us in society, are conflicted about the war and have different positions. It isn't the first time I have heard prisoners talk about developing relations with guards. My investigator also treated me well.

There were times, however, when I felt real fear. You learn quickly how difficult it is to prove your innocence, and that your story and your life may not necessarily add up for others.

Doubt. When someone doubts you, the consequences are deadly. You quickly feel the world close in. Claustrophobia and helplessness take over. How do you respond when someone says, "Who do you work for?" and you say "No one," and they shout back, "Kezzeb!" (Liar!).

"What do you do?"

"I'm a student."

"Kezzeb!"

Everything you say they doubt, or worse, don't believe. "Kezzeb! Kezzeb! Kezzeb!" Everything you say is a lie. I can prove I work for someone by showing documentation, but how do you prove you work for no one? They took me from the military police investigation unit to the military police prison in which I spent the night, and then from there to the Mukhabarat the next day. That was when they blindfolded me for four hours. Ay, to see the light, to see who you are speaking to, I wished for that. The darkness destroyed me. I spoke but it was not my voice. Who was this helpless, defeated person that spoke for me? I paused, and in my daze wondered if it was in moments like these that one discovers another previously unknown character buried within the self. I felt dizzy; perhaps I passed out standing and did not know. I forgot the details of my Life, struggling deeply to retrieve them.

But it did not last long. It could have been worse. I wonder today the extent to which my safety was afforded by my family's connections with our church, government ministers, generals and high officials in the military, or was it because I'm an American citizen? I may never know. But I do wonder, after hearing stories of the US government denying aid to left-leaning activists overseas, if they would rather be rid of someone who opposes their imperialist interests. For now, I'll refrain from too much speculation.

I wrote these words after my release and I wonder if they still resonate:

What gives you hope, what allows you to survive is the knowledge that it could be worse.
They could hit you
and then
they could torture you
and then
they could put you in solitary confinement (or perhaps this comes before torture)
and then
they could do it all again and again.
Once you lose hope and believe your situation cannot get any worse, you have nothing left. This is when Life begins to close in on you, when all you have left to hold onto is your resilient sanity...until even that is gone.

May you never face a day in confinement. May you never have to learn the value of freedom in this barbaric way, no matter what treatment you receive. This war is ugly and dirty; by the end of it every person in Lebanon will have a story to tell. Some, like mine, are more fortunate. In the end, all we hope for is to be able to tell our stories with a gentle smile.

Sami Hermez is a Lebanese-American doctoral candidate of Anthropology at Princeton University working on violence in the Middle East. He returned to Lebanon in the middle of Israel's invasion of his country to stand in solidarity with his family, his people, and a just cause. He can be contacted at shermez@princeton.edu

http://electronicintifada.net/v2/printer5383.shtml

Light at the end of the tunnel...

No matter how rotten, or off, or out of sorts I feel at work (like right now for example), whenever I get home to my wife and kids I forget whatever it was that was bothering me or that I was even bothered to begin with.

Hot Tub

We finally got our hot tub fixed after more than 6 months of waiting for the repair guy to show up. Of course he took our money first.An interesting observation was that you would think that with the temperature being over 80 that there would be no need for a hot tub, but yesterday with the water temperature around 79 and the ambient temperature in the mid to upper 80's, my wife commented that she and our 10-month old daughter found the water to be too cold for comfort. In fact she later turned the heater on to 82 and in the early afternoon she with the ambient temperature in the lower 80's the water still wasn't warm enough. Interesting. Of course when she came in the house after that she complained that it was too cold indoor with the air conditioning on when it fact it was set at 78.

Matter and energy

Assuming that Physics has it right and that matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed but can be converted from one to the other, its difficult to imagine the amount of energy required to create the Universe. But if the Universe was created from a singularity (if Big Bang is correct), was the singularity matter or energy or both? and where did it come from and what was it doing to cause it to do what it did to create the universe as we know it. Are there other universes and if so what are they doing there, how did they get there, and what relation do they have to this one? Assuming matter and energy as we know it originated from the Big Bang singularity the theory behind the formation of the elements and simple compounds is fairly well settled.One thing to note is that matter in the presence or absence of sufficient energy will change state to forms that are more stable in the given energy environment. Certain matter states will tend to convert to other matter states more preferably depending on the nature of the compound in question. If life evolved in a similar manner - i.e. matter adapting to energy environments to more stable forms, does that imply a purpose to life? At some point matter organized itself into life that started making (whether consciously or not) deliberate moves to replicate itself often at the expense of other matter. Does this the inherent "selfishness" of matter imply a purpose? At some pint matter was organized enough to create consciousness and eventually humanity. It appears however that we have a paradigm shift with humanity - matter is not limited by the energy environment but humans actively seek to change the energy environment to allow our continued preferred state. Does this imply that evolution may be slower for humans? if the environmental pressure to change can be manipulated by us, is there sufficient pressure to make that change, or are we bypassing it by our "ingenuity"?

 

Its hard to concentrate with Japanese Pop playing on your headphones.

The Virtue of Art

"I reply that art should be called nothing else than the right reason about things to be made. Their good does not consist in any disposition of the human will but rather that the work that comes to be is good in itself. the artist is not praised as an artist because of the will with which he works but because of the quality of what he makes.
Art then is properly an operative habit. Nonetheless it has things in common with the speculative habit because in the latter too what counts is the things they consider rahter than the way will relates to them. So long as the geometer demonstrates the true, the condition of his appetitive part - whether he is happy or sad - is irrelevant, as it is with the artist, as was mentioned. Art has the note of virtue, then, in the same way as a speculative habit does. Neither art nor the speculative habit produces a good work with respect to use, which is proper to the virtue perfecting appetite, but only gives the capacity of acting well." Thomas Aquinas Summa theologiae, First Part of the Second Part, Question 57, article 3 as quoted byRalph McInerny in A First Glance At St. Thomas Aquinas.

Quote from a grammer book

My supervisor and I get into this argument about where to place punctuation in a term with quotes all the time and he won the argument. Under the American convention, periods and commas are placed within the quotation mark. There is an exception for technical terms where it is important to distinguish the references. Under the British convention they are outside the quotation marks if they are not a part of the quote. Anyway, my admin assistant brought me a book that the word processing staff uses as a reference and in cites a portion of a transcript of an actual radio conversation released by the U.S. Chief of Naval Operations as an example of quoting dialogues and conversations. I read this somewhere else before and it was hilarious then and its hilarious now. Here it is:

STATION 1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
STATION 2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
STATION 1: This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
STATION 2: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
STATION 1: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE. WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE U.S. NAVY DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
STATION 2: This is the Puget Sound lighthouse. It's your call.

(from The Gregg Reference Manual, 9th Ed. by WIlliam A. Sabin. page 73.)

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | X-rays reveal Archimedes secrets

BBC NEWS Science/Nature X-rays reveal Archimedes secrets

Neat!

Patent Law Trivia - Sci-fi writers and prior art

Geek Trivia: Strange (water)bedfellows http://articles.techrepublic.com.com/5102-10881-6098825.html
Science fiction writers are sometimes known to inspire true science. In fact there's a documentary on the Discovery Channel discussing the impact that some of the sci-fi greats have had on the way that science and engineering has developed. This is one tit-bit I found amusing especially as it effects patents. I think I'll pass this around the patent lawyers I know.

Sloth

Having an admin assistant is kinda cool. I found a bunch of old 1st class stamps and I had her get me a bunch of 2 cent stamps to make up the difference so I can use them. What a time saver! ...not that I was actually doing anything productive with my time today...

more quotes

'It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.' Aristotle

From Sybil, Bk. I, Ch. 5 by Benjamin Disraeli, 1st Earl of Beaconsfield, 1804 - 1881 . . . 'To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge.'

'All our knowledge falls within the bounds of possible experience.' Immanuel Kant

'The hardest part about gaining any new idea is sweeping out the false idea occupying that niche. As long as that niche is occupied, evidence and proof and logical demonstration get nowhere. But once the niche is emptied of the wrong idea that has been filling it - once you can honestly say, I don't know, then it becomes possible to get at the truth.' Robert A. Heinlein "

from Part 2 of Three Keys To Understanding Your Reality Perceptions by William Tracer — gather, living, learning Gather

BBC NEWS | Health | Hunger dictates who men fancy

BBC NEWS Health Hunger dictates who men fancy

Interesting...