Independence v. Parenthood

I think in our relationship, we've tried to set ourselves up to be independent people, but I think we've grown to become interdependent which is a more nuanced dependence, if that makes sense. As I said, we can both function well apart, but particularly with the kids, having each other for support is essential. I applaud and marvel at single parents and parents with absent or virtually-absent partners for being able to raise kids on their own, but we've noticed that for us, we both need each other to subserve any other interests we have in favor of the kids. This doesn't mean a loss of independence, but a recognition and redefinition of ourselves to include the "parent" identity which, it seems to me, by definition requires us to give of ourselves to raise good people. Maybe part of that "parent" identity involves a transfer of identity to our kids? Maybe that's too strong, but the hope is there that our kids will like what they see in us to at least emulate our good points and avoid or learn from our failings. Every day as a new parent is a day of discovery and wonder at the little people growing up and testing themselves. Last night as were unloading our car from our return trip, our son (the two year old) insisted on helping and we both stopped and watched him carry this one bag from the car and wind his way through the cluttered garage and to the door. You could see him calculate the weight of the bag in his head and figure out the best way to walk around everything and slowly climb the steps. He was taking his job seriously. We both smiled and laughed to ourselves in wonder. Did we make that? I think he'll grow up to be a great guy. I hope he'll hang around and talk with me when he does. I think it's days like that that I was missing. My dependence on seeing the kids grow up and learn.